Running is Frustrating but Also Going Well

Oops… Its been way longer than expected since my last update to you all. I blame going to NYC (although that was in mid June and its now the end of July! Not sure I can really use that!) This update is going to be short. And probably vague. The next update will come much sooner and I need to spread out my thoughts/feelings/content until APRIL so…. Tiny updates at a time haha.

The title to this post is confusing… honestly because I am pretty conflicted on my feelings around running recently. Im motivated and want to give up. Im happy with how its going and completely discouraged. Makes complete sense… right?

We are still in Phase One over here! If you don’t remember that from 6 weeks ago, here is a quick reminder. I am in the “lose this weight from having a baby” phase. I am 25.5 pounds down. That’s insane to me. I also have at least 10 to go (would love to get 14, but that last 4 may come later on its own from just running) Before you all say “ohh but you shouldn’t worry about weight” yes… yes I should. I have a closet full of cute lawyer clothes that I want to wear. I bought 75% of them on black Friday after the NYC marathon and instantly got pregnant so… I WANT TO WEAR MY CUTE LAWYER CLOTHES.

Ok I am off topic. I am in Phase One still. The “calorie deficit while trying to run” phase. Its happened. Just like I knew it would but told myself I wasn’t going to let it bother me. Im not eating to run how I would like to run AND ITS AFFECTING ME. Im not getting faster. My long runs aren’t as long or as great as I want. I need to be eating more to do what I want to do. Also… that stuff about pace… it was true! I don’t care about it. I cant because then I will become obsessive and running will consume my life. But… I do care about it haha. So lets put these things together. I am not fueling enough to run how I want to, along with caring about my pace (to some degree)… this has made running frustrating over the past 2 weeks. I know that I need to sort out my priorities, and I have. I know I want more time in Phase One… but Im also very curious about what adequately fueling my body can do.

Another frustrating thing… life. Mom of 2. I get 2 days of definitely able to run. Mondays (because I work from home) and Wednesday night (as long as my oldest has dad at bedtime). Every other day is dependent on other things. And sometimes a kid wants to go with me. That impacts my run (idk what it is but the stroller KILLS my runs. Omg it is so much harder, even though it really shouldn’t be) My oldest hates bedtime and it takes SO freaking long every night. My free time is basically 9:15-10pm. That’s if I shower before that. I want to watch tv and read and do all the fun things and… I have 45 minutes a day.

Can you tell that running has been discouraging lately? Lol.

I say that but 2 weeks ago I hit a 5k PR that I haven’t hit since before I had kids. It is all that fast? No. Was I pretty proud of myself? You bet. My pace goals are really more for 5 and 10k. Again… I have no desire to hit any marathon goals. I do… but I don’t. I want to PR at London by over an hour, but again… I don’t think that will be hard considering the fiasco that was “training” last time.

If everything works out, I do have a 5k on Saturday. I did have a pace goal for that race. I think I can hit it, but we shall see. I know the route (its in the park near my house) and its hillier than I am used to (even though I am trying to push myself more and run hills!) We will see if I can PR!! Ill tell you all either way in the next update (which should be next week).

As busy as life has been the last month… its about to get insane. I have a girls weekend, beach weekend, and a 1st birthday weekend all back to back. Sept is full of single parenting and a huge/long trip to Africa. October is full of more single parenting and Halloween… followed by maybe a trip to Buffalo and then Thanksgiving right behind before… we hit a 4th birthday and Christmas. Yeah… Im exhausted just typing all of that. My marathon training starts Dec. 20th so we are still on track… Phase 2 is just going to be tricky. Also I need to give myself a “calorie deficit” timeline. Wherever I am at say… by November… is just where I may be for awhile so I can start eating for what I want to do! Fuel is important!

I also did something that is completely stressing me out. It was really dumb. I got caught up in the moment, entered a lottery and somehow got picked so… more on that in a later post. 😊 I have to keep you all coming back somehow!

Im not sure what the point of this post is. I guess its… life is busy, running has been frustrating but also going well, and everything is going to get a whole lot busier. That basically sums it up!